Memories I just wrote this about an hour ago and I think she needs some help. So please, offer whatever suggestions you can. :?
Memories
With dirt smeared
On a rosy cheek
Lines of water
Paint a frame
On her face
Joining the internal
To the outward
A baseball glove
On one hand
Ball cast aside
Under the branches
Of the mimosa tree
The not so perfect
French-braided hair
Cascades loose
In thick brown waves
Eyes, green like the leaves
Unseeing to truth
She begs the sky to swallow
Her tender 12 year old body
Save her from the storm
Of one parent's hatred for the other
An innocent in the crosshair
Of his bitter vengence
PickOutYourCloud- 09-04-2005
I personally like it the way it is.
Kind of reminds me of Rose, if the child had been a girl.
Really good though, per usual. You have such a good way with words.
OnMyWayToIreland- 09-05-2005
I like how it flows. Nice.
SteelLily- 09-05-2005
thanks guys.
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